Thursday, November 29, 2007

CSI Pathetic

Is it just me, or is CSI New York only surpassed in overall horribleness by the utterly pathetic CSI Miami?

Last night's much-awaited conclusion to the 333 stalker storyline on CSI New York had all the hallmarks of a trunk story written in college and recycled through a half-dozen form letter rejections. The writers of CSI New York are never shy about having their killers go to elaborate lengths to set up or cover up their crimes, but rarely have they presented such a plethora of outrageously intricate and obscure clues designed to lead the story to a completely different city, apparently so they could not-write the word "coward" on a wall hangman style while simultaneously throwing in a grouchy police commissioner-type cliche so cliche they made fun of it in Beverly Hills Cop some 23 years ago. And the significance of the number 333? A hotel room. D'oh!

But not even that can match the mendacious disregard for reality that occurs every time David Caruso strikes a pose on CSI Miami. Last Monday night, Horatio dragged a rich white minor in for questioning over the murder of his own nanny - without the kid's parents or a lawyer. If Aitch had been a real cop, he'd be looking for a new job today. But nothing, not even a modest nod to credibility, gets in the way of the almighty story on CSI Miami, and not even the almighty story gets in the way of David Caruso's gritty one-liners.

CSI New York has a pretty good cast (better than Miami, anyway) and by far the bigger canvas for telling stories than either of its siblings. How is that they get it so right on the original CSI, and so wrong on the two knock-offs?

9 comments:

Vixen said...

Great comment. Can I cite you? Would be great. Thank you.

Jeff said...

Be my guest. Interesting blog you have there.

Anonymous said...

Whoever said CSI Miami was supposed to be reality-based?

I like your comments even though your premise is in error.

The fact that you find Vixen's blog interesting diminishes my first impressions of your blog.

Anonymous said...

How about because they are not intended to be "knock-offs"?

Vixen said...

Thank you. It is greatly appreciated.

Jeff said...

Reality-based meaning based on some semblance of reality, as opposed to outright fantasy. Not that I would mind a fantasy-based CSI. It might be more believealbe than CSI Miami. Then Horatio's super-powers could be tied to his wearing or not wearing his sunglasses, like Cyclops.

CSI: Gondor??

Jeff said...

Or better... CSI: Gotham City

Vixen said...

Exactly. And the show is getting more weird the longer it airs. A few weeks ago they wanted us make believe that Wolf genes could actually change adult humam DNA-SURE.
At leat they could check a few facts before shooting an episode.

Morgwyn said...

ROFL I watched the first season of Miami just because of how craptastic Caruso is. He makes me giggle, he's so bad. And then my ol' man took the remote away so he could watch American Idol. So I went back to reading.