The Redneck Guide to Effective Rubbernecking

I can understand the natural curiosity people feel when they come across a road accident. It's human nature. You have Good Samaritan feelings - maybe someone needs help. Or maybe you just want to see if there's a dead body or lots of blood. Half the people who watch NASCAR watch it for the wrecks.

What I can't understand is people who will block up three or four lanes of interstate, coming to an almost complete stop, to look at a fender bender.

Here's how you can be a more effective rubbernecker.

1. Are there ambulances or fire trucks? If not, don't slow down. There's nothing to see.
2. Is there more than one police car on the scene? If not, don't slow down. There's nothing to see.
3. Is there debris in the road? If not, don't slow down. There's nothing to see.

Follow these three simple rules and you won't waste your time or mine.

Just remember, everytime you slow down to gawk at a busted tail light, there's somebody behind you wishing to God he could draw a bead on your head.