Recently discovered ad copy found in the shredder of the Dark Lord Advertising Agency:
and rock bottom prices for jewelry lurk around every corner.
You'd be crazy as a Gollum not to take advantage of our everyday low prices! We're practically giving them away - just ask the kings of dwarves and men!
Put one of our rings on the finger of that certain special someone and she'll be yours forever, provided you also purchase the Ruling Ring for half off the original price.