When the Very Air is a Lovely Fume

Recently discovered ad copy found in the shredder of the Dark Lord Advertising Agency:

One ring to rule them all.

One ring to find them.

One ring to bring them all

and in the darkness bind them.

In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie

and rock bottom prices for jewelry lurk around every corner.

You'd be crazy as a Gollum not to take advantage of our everyday low prices! We're practically giving them away - just ask the kings of dwarves and men!

Put one of our rings on the finger of that certain special someone and she'll be yours forever, provided you also purchase the Ruling Ring for half off the original price.

You can't go wrong, but if you do, you'll want one of precious rings - guaranteed never to fall off during an orc attack!

Hurry today before they vanish out the door.