But also remember that sooner or later, it's gonna happen. So eat a peach, astronauts.
BTW, it wasn't a near miss. It was a near hit.
Showing posts with label holiday nonsense. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holiday nonsense. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Happy Near Miss Day
It's here again, my favorite holiday of the year, when all the family gathers around the dinner table to eat ghost chilis and reflect on the fact that we were not obliterated as a species on March 23, 1989 or March 2, 2009. Whenever you think things are bad, just remember that it could be so much worse.
But also remember that sooner or later, it's gonna happen. So eat a peach, astronauts.
BTW, it wasn't a near miss. It was a near hit.
But also remember that sooner or later, it's gonna happen. So eat a peach, astronauts.
BTW, it wasn't a near miss. It was a near hit.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Merry Christmas, and Roll Out!
"Christmas Transformer" colored marker and pencil on paper bag, courtesy of my son.
This hardy Autobot is ready to take the fight in the War on Christmas to those secular Deceptocrats who want to force our women to have abortions and wear Islamofascist hajibs while they recruit our boys into the homosexual Marxist lifestyle.
He also made us a Christmas card which reads, in part:
Dear Mommy and Daddy, thank you for everything you have done for me. Except for the bad things you've done.
That's my boy.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Happy Father's Day
Father's Day really ought to be celebrated on the day you first become a father, whether that's the birthday of your first born, the anniversary of your child's adoption, or your wedding anniversary if you're marrying into a family.
For me, today is Father's Day. It is also the anniversary of Seattle's 6.8 magnitude earthquake of 2001. Funny the things you remember, innit?
For me, today is Father's Day. It is also the anniversary of Seattle's 6.8 magnitude earthquake of 2001. Funny the things you remember, innit?
Friday, February 01, 2008
Monday, December 31, 2007
Happy God Damn New Year
Remind me, why do we celebrate the new year? This occured to me today. What purpose does it serve, other than to give us an excuse to mix alcohol and explosives? Isn't it true that the only reason Jan 1st is a Federal holiday is so people can't sleep off their exuberrances of the night before?
It's been years since I marked the occassion in any way. I stopped bothering to care because, to be honest, I don't need an excuse to get drunk and make a fool of myself. It happens too close to Christmas to be of any practical use.
New Year's Day is the only secular, non-political/historical holiday on the calendar. If we're just going to have a gimme holiday for no particular reason, I'd much rather it fall during the long holidayless months between President's Day and Memorial Day.
I propose we move New Year's Day to the second Friday in April! At least then it'll be warm enough to shoot fireworks at midnight, and it will always give us a three day weekend. That's something I can celebrate. Frigid mid-week New Year's celebrations suck polar bear nuts.
It's been years since I marked the occassion in any way. I stopped bothering to care because, to be honest, I don't need an excuse to get drunk and make a fool of myself. It happens too close to Christmas to be of any practical use.
New Year's Day is the only secular, non-political/historical holiday on the calendar. If we're just going to have a gimme holiday for no particular reason, I'd much rather it fall during the long holidayless months between President's Day and Memorial Day.
I propose we move New Year's Day to the second Friday in April! At least then it'll be warm enough to shoot fireworks at midnight, and it will always give us a three day weekend. That's something I can celebrate. Frigid mid-week New Year's celebrations suck polar bear nuts.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
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